i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize