I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize