Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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