OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
this beer tastes like vomit already
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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