Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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