While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
