we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
