Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
