Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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