dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
