I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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