Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
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Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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