Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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