Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
