I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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