Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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