you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
