We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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