You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
