after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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