how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize