escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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