You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
