I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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