haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
