cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
