I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
