btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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