Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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