I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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