There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize