i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
