It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
