Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize