What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
