i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
