So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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