Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
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Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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