spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
