i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Porn is love you can see.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
