Buhtt sex?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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