I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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