Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
