Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
