that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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