i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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