Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
