If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
