Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
