does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
