Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize