I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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