Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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