brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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