My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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