She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
