so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
