our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
