why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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