its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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