I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
