My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
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Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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