i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I am naked and annoyed.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize